How to cope?

A hypothetical scenario, requiring your input:

Older, respectable higher-up type gets in the elevator with you and three or four others on a Friday morning. He stands in front of you, and turns to his left to speak to a colleague. When he turns back to face the front of the elevator, you notice that the prominent bald spot on the back of his head has been painted over with some sort of bubbly beige-colored goo which closely resembles something your cat barfed up over the weekend.

The proper response is:

"Good morning, sir! My, that's some Great Looking Hair!"

Silence + the best fake smile you can muster while chomping on your tongue

Silent prayer thanking god for the spare undies in your desk drawer, as present pair has been mildly soiled

Make eye contact with fellow elevator occupant, draw his/her attention to the head in question, and struggle together to suppress horrified giggles

Avoid eye contact with all fellow elevator occupants completely, with knowledge that shared horrified giggles will be far, far more difficult to suppress

Do the old guy a favor by farting loudly and excusing yourself, red-faced, thereby trumping his humiliation

Other (please be specific)

Your thoughtful participation is greatly appreciated.