I can be Progressive too....

I would like a hybrid car. Not just ANY hybrid car like a Prius or something though. I want a car that’s a hybrid between a pig, a tank, and Will Farrell.

I could just peel bacon off the insides and nibble on it while I drive, making those icy cold morning commutes a whole lot nicer. If anyone got in my way, I could drive right over them or blow them right off the road, and with all it’s curly hair like Will Farrell, it’d undoubtedly be warm and cozy. Oh, it’d have to be easy on gasoline too.

No one said we had to sacrifice function to be environmentally friendly.