What I imagine the story to be about:
Girl meets boy.
Boy is a vampire.
Boy fights enemies.
Boy wins with the help of girl.
Boy doesn’t make a vampire out of girl.
Movie over.
What the movie SHOULD be about:
Girl meets boy.
Boy is vampire.
Girl annoys the fuck out of boy.
Boy follows girl home and sucks her blood until she’s dead.
Boy kills himself because he doesn’t want to be in teeny movies any more.
Movie over.
Even better:
Girl meets boy.
Boy is vampire.
Girl annoys boy.
Boy follows girl home, craps on her face while she’s sleeping, then packs up and moves to another town.
Girl wakes up and understands that boys will only frustrate her and that she’s too young and intelligent to pay so fucking much attention to boys.
Girl goes on to focus on her education, gets her degree, goes on to have a promising career in theoretical quantum physics or paleontology. Or both.
Girl waits till she’s 30-40 and then settles down with a nice guy who cares about her and they have a nice life together and forget all about vampires.
No more teen movies about forbidden love with pale apathetic troubled vampires are ever made.
The end.
0 comments:
Post a Comment