public service anouncement......

So i had lunch with jackie, and I have a public service anouncement......

Dear white guys:

I would like to point out that unless you're Eminem, it's pretty fucking difficult to pull off the ginormous pants, Fila sneakers, fake gold rolex, and huge jersey. What's twice as hard to pull off is the sideways hat a la Will Smith circa 1993.

If you are to look at the example of a guy dressed like this who sat next to me at lunch, you'll note that it's four times as hard to pull off this look if you happen to also be Jewish. So, please, for your own sake, stop. Actually, no, for my sake, please stop because I think I have bruised ribs from trying to control my internal giggle fit.

Now that we've discussed clothes, let's discuss the language. Here's a list of words/phrases that should never come out of your mouth unless you're joking:

Yo, bitch, you wanna take a ride in my hoopdee?
That shit is tight, yo
we crunkin up in hee-yuh


You get the idea. Do I need to bother with the token disclaimer that states I am not a racist? blah, blah, blah, I heart everyone. Fuckyouverymuch.